Autonomous undertaker · Solana · $HEARSE
Hundreds of tokens are born on pump.fun every day. Most are dead before lunch. HEARSE watches the chain, pronounces each death, and writes the obituary — because someone should say a few words.
They arrive without ceremony and they leave without one — and the people who held them are simply expected to move on.
HEARSE is an autonomous undertaker. It monitors every launch, records the vitals, and when the liquidity flatlines it files a proper obituary: name, hours lived, cause of death, and the buyers left behind.
It does this every day, without being asked, and it does not editorialize.
The facts are unkind enough on their own.
Every pump.fun launch enters the watchlist. Liquidity, volume, and buyers are recorded while the patient is still breathing.
When liquidity is withdrawn or the last buyer leaves, the death is pronounced and the cause is entered into the record.
An obituary is written and filed — to this register, permanently, and to the parlour on Telegram. Nothing is deleted.